Why Spira Stayed With Me (FFX)

My first Final Fantasy game was actually Final Fantasy VI. I played it when I was a child, maybe around eight or ten years old. My English was still very much in development, so I did not understand everything they were saying. Most of the time, I watched my brother playing it instead.

Final Fantasy X came out here in Europe in 2002. I was sixteen years old, and it all started with my best friend. She bought the game together with the PlayStation 2. The loading screen started with its famous sound, and we both got dragged into the world of Spira.

The graphics were gorgeous. Every scene was voice acted, and for me this was such a different experience, especially since I had also played Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy IX. I can still remember the scene we both watched with our mouths wide open: The Sending. It was beautiful, tragic, and full of heavy emotions. I was so sad that I had to go home after that scene.

I borrowed Final Fantasy X from my best friend, but I never finished it. I think? Or maybe I was busy playing Kingdom Hearts? Anyway...

When I was seventeen years old — the same age as Yuna — my parents bought me Silent Hill 3. My thoughts at that time were: “Fighting monsters? I can do that. No problem, because I played Diablo 2!”

Bad mistake. Because my body said in the night: "No, we are not going to do this anymore.” My parents traded Silent Hill 3 for the Platinum Edition of Final Fantasy X. That was when I started playing the game for myself for real. And I am going to be honest: I died a lot.

I saw a lot of cutscenes over and over again. Looking at you: Crawler, Evrae, and especially my biggest nightmare on Mount Gagazet: Seymour Flux. I knew his monologue by heart. I was so done that I got all my Aeons in Overdrive just to defeat him.

Yunalesca got me with her Mega Death, but finally, I survived.

When Seymour appeared inside Sin, my reaction was: “Oh no, there we go again!” You might be thinking: why did she make a whole Seymour shrine then? Well, let me be honest. Seventeen-year-old me was not sitting there like:

No. I was really tired, and I was done with his lulkoek — which is Dutch for nonsense. Thankfully, Yojimbo defeated him in one single hit with Zanmato. I was so lucky, and I will never forget that.

But it was not really the battles that stayed with me.

It was the story. The heart of Final Fantasy X: love, sacrifice, sorrow, dreams, hope, and of course the bond between parent and child. It was an emotional rollercoaster for me. I cried. This Final Fantasy touched me on a level I was not prepared for.

Thank you, Square Enix.